BUYING FROM BOZOS / 10 stupid things our salesman said

By Rebecca Olson

You'd be safer buying a Mac from a monkey than from several of the
salespeople we met. We could hardly believe our ears in some cases. Here
are some of the more entertaining statements we heard while shopping for a
Mac:

1."How long would we have to wait to take this machine home?"
-"You can take it home today, if we have it in stock."
"Well, do you have it in stock?"
-"Um, no."

2.-"This machine has a multimedia. It is so popular that pretty soon it
will probably be impossible to buy a computer without it."
"What is a multimedia?"
-"Well, a multimedia plays audio CDs and answers your telephone."

3.[Our salesman as he ran his finger down a feature list]
-"This Performa has eight em-bees."
"What's an 'em-bee?'"
-"Just a second. Let me look it up."

4."Why is this color printer the same price as the monochrome printer?"
-"Because it's been discontinued, and HP shipped us a lot of them."
"Discontinued? Could we still get tech support for it?"
-"Of course. It's not officially discontinued. Besides, there are a
lot of them out there."

5."What's the difference among these three systems?"
-"One of them doesn't have a monitor.
[five-second pause]
Actually, it does. It must be something else."

6."Does this one have sixteen megabytes?"
-"Yes."
"Are you sure? It says eight."
-"Well, it has RAM Doubler."

7."What is a CD-ROM?"
-"A CD-ROM is something that holds ten hard drives worth of information."
"What?"
-"Uh-huh, but make sure you back your memory up on a floppy."

8."Which machine do you recommend?"
-"The basic model."
"What is the basic model?"
-"I don't know. But I can tell you about the 6250."

9.-"Apple isn't going to give us any new machines until we sell the old
ones."
"Really?"
-"Sure. That is, unless they get desperate."

10.-"You know, to tell you the truth, I don't know much about selling
computers."
"Oh, really?"
-"Yeah. But my boss . . . now, he's a computer whiz."