Sometimes you get hungry
And don't know what to eat
Then you see something on the counter,
That simply can't be beat!

The cherry pie, so yummy,
With all that cherry goo..
I'd really like to eat so
I know you love them too!!

The crust is kind of crusty
But is it not supposed to be?
Some sugar sprinkled on the top
It looks so good you see!

How can I resist
This cherry-flavored delight?
It looks so good just sitting there
All alone tonight..

It's getting late now,
It's almost 1 o'clock
I think that I'm about to give in
I don't know how to stop!

I sneak over to the pie
Get out my knife and fork..
I start to drool down on my shirt
It looks as good as pork

Ok, pork's really not that great
Couldn't think of a match for that word
In fact now that I take a look
It's really quite absurd!

Anyway, back to the pie
I take my fork and knife
And right before I cut it open
I hear it scream for its life!

Be quiet I tell you,
This stupid pie!
Pies are not alive I think
But this one seems to try

I look way down deep,
Into that cherry pie -
And I realize it must be quite late now
As I think it has eyes..

I wake from my dream
And look around me..
I'm not in the kitchen
No cherry pie to see!

Woohoo!, I exclaim
With a happified smile
No more of that pie!
(At least not for a while).

Then I turn around,
It wasn't a dream
The pie is chasing me now
As I start to scream!!

Now Middy! Now Casper!
Now Freddy and Rob!
Hurry up please, Kenny,
And don't forget Bob!
We must stop this madness,
This nasty cherry glob!

So we hop in our Mustangs
And ride towards the sunset..
But what we don't know about them
Is that they brought their ice cream pets!

Run Middy! Run Casper!
Run Freddy and Rob!
Poor Kenny's been eaten,
We must stop this mob!
I speed in my Mustang,
To barely save Bob!

These foods, they are monsters,
No one can escape!
We must find an airline
With low package rates!

Get off of this island
And try just to hide
We'll fly to Afghanistan
And sit together inside

There is nothing we can do
To stop them from eating
We must have peace!
We shall have a meeting.

So I called up the pie
On his cellular phone
As I said "Hello mister pie!"
He answered with a groan..

We must have peace!
We cannot survive!
We'll throw away all our forks,
Just give us 'till five!

He said, "Sorry to frighten you"
He said into his phone
"We don't like to be eaten,
Just leave us alone!"

"That's all that you want?
It's as simple as that?
We're sorry, goodbye now!"
As I tip my hat.

Fellow pie-eaters,
This is only a trick..
Tomorrow at daybreak
We commence our attack!

So the unsuspecting pies
With their ice cream friends
Were all sitting happy,
Their problems at an end.

Little did they know -
We were not finished yet.
And so goes a breakfast
We will never forget.

By noontime we were filled
To the tops of our eyes..
With more pie and ice cream
Than we'd see again in our lives.

They had been too surprised
To know what to do.
We had hit them not with knives,
But a little kung-fu!

Defenseless against it
Their sloppy cherry mess
The fell to the ground
'Twas fun, I confess.

I awake from my sleep
Deep into the night
I sit up in bed..
..And look 'round with fright.

There are no monsters,
No pies or their friends
I sigh with relief,
It finally ends.

The point of this story?
I wish there was one.
I'm sorry it's so long,
But I hope reading it's fun :)